MINIMAL RAISINS
My life’s work is to consume minimal raisins,
And never to stay at Ramadas or Days Inns.
Other than that, all is totally okay;
You’ll see a smile on my face, come what may.
But come to think of it, I dislike Facebook fights and mosquito bites,
Folks who run red lights and hit me with their brights,
As well as dogs not on leashes and mushy peaches,
Political speeches and dead fish on beaches.
Films about killing sprees and large curd cottage cheese,
People who don’t cover their face when they sneeze,
People who never say thank-you or please:
All these reveal a deep cultural disease,
And I forgot to mention ATM fees.
I’ll gladly bid adieu to fondue and other types of smelly goo,
To catching the flu and any clock with a cuckoo,
To front doors painted blue and backs sporting a tattoo,
To lines at the drive-through and anything new.
Spices annoy me, particularly cilantro and thyme,
Also scents of pine and pies of key lime.
But the only crime surpassing a mime
Is a poem un-sublime and riddled with rhyme.
