DINING OUT
Dining out
Is something I can do without.
Look at last night
And you’ll understand my plight.
For cocktails I took a pass
Because the wine began at sixteen a glass.
The server became quite condescending
Seeing how little money I was spending.
As my friends imbibed I inspected my silverware,
On which I found a crumb and a bug and a hair.
A new set came after a lengthy wait,
The server now completely irate.
The salad arrived like the perfect storm:
Tasteless, wilted and warm.
But my sandwich really made me see red,
Because all the stuff fell out of the bread.
My new entree came and I felt like a dork,
Unable to get the spaghetti on my fork.
When airborne tomato sauce ruined my shirt,
I was in no mood for my hard-earned free dessert.
By the end of it all I was a total wreck,
But still had to wait forever for the check.
When at long last it came time to pay,
My fellow diners had slipped away.
This place should have the motto,
“Eat Here When You Win the Lotto.”
But the gargantuan bill brought me smile,
As I can’t afford to eat out for a while.
