“Patience comes of sovereign prudence, impatience of unchecked folly.” (Proverbs 14:29)
One thing I’ve been trying hard to work on during Lent is patience. Impatience is the bad fruit of a will not aligned with God’s Will. God does all things for a reason; when I rail against my situation I am saying that what I want is more important and better than what God wants.
Impatience is a sign of spiritual weakness and can be sinful; it is a sign of pride, ingratitude, or even disbelief.
In my case, I tend to take major disruptions in relative stride, at least in terms of maintaining my composure. But little things drive me crazy, a response that is so ingrained I find it extremely difficult to correct even with ardent prayer and attentiveness.
Here is a little story to illustrate my problem. It is loaded with irony and certainly has its comedic aspects, but in other ways is not really funny at all.
Lessons in Patience, Chapter 1
This morning when it was still very dark I was driving to get coffee. On the way a car coming toward me flashed its brights. My immediate reaction was along the lines, Hey, stupid, my brights are not on! I flashed my brights back at him.
Well, sure enough, a couple hundred yards down the road sat a black police car, hidden in the darkness. The driver was trying to warn me. Fortunately I was going the speed limit. My immediate thought was, Thank you God, for giving me yet again another lesson in the wisdom and necessity of being patient. I am sorry I reacted that way. Please unite my will with Your will.
Lessons in Patience, Chapter 2
But then, not more than 15 seconds later, another car coming from the other direction turned just before I reached the intersection, and got in line ahead of me in the drive-through lane. This was slightly vexing, but what caused me to lose my patience was, after having the audacity to lengthen my wait for coffee, the car suddenly hit the brakes and swerved erratically as it approached the digital menu. This caused me to hit the brakes pretty hard, and I thought, What is the matter with this person? Looking at his phone instead of the road?
Five seconds later I reached the same point and felt the branches of a broken tree limb scrape the roof of my car — no doubt an after-effect of the windstorm that had swept through our neighborhood a couple of days before. This “inattentive” driver had noticed a road hazard that I, the King of the Road, had completely missed. God, with infinite patience, had given me another lesson within a minute of the previous lesson, a lesson from which I apparently had learned nothing.
Sigh.
I can make excuses: dealing with Illinois traffic for decades would take a toll (pun intended) on anyone’s nerves. And yet, I do not want my first reaction to people to be one of hostility — and if hostility is my reaction, how can I change that? St. Alphonsus Liguori, Doctor of the Church known best for his moral teachings, suggests saying a short prayer whenever a triggering situation occurs. That makes a world of sense; as Fulton Sheen says, it is no use to get rid of a bad habit unless you fill the void with a good habit.
Prayer
Lord, give me the perseverance to correct my bad habits. Thank You for not abandoning me, but rather using Your infinite patience and guidance to help me overcome my impatience. Let me be always open and receptive to Your presence and loving action in my life. Amen.
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