MEDICAL ATTENTION
I said, Doctor, I’m not feeling the slightest bit sick,
She said, That’s just your body playing a trick!
Take two of these twice a day,
Plus, one of the purple and three of the grey.
If you’re free of symptoms after six months pass,
We’ll run more tests to hopefully locate a mass.
If nothing shows up, please don’t lament,
It’s just a disorder we’ve yet to invent!
We won’t give up ‘til we find a disease
Or bring your checkbook down to its knees.
We’ll pick and probe
And make you disrobe,
Scour you with scans embarrassingly intrusive,
Carefully designed to be inconclusive,
Then give you experimental medications
Likely to cause weird cellular mutations.
But side effects needn’t make you blue,
If things go south, you can always sue —
Oh, sorry, we’ve closed that option to you.
