MERLE TURNIPSEED
Old man Merle Turnipseed
Lived on a farm infested with stinkweed.
All of his neighbors heartily agreed
Merle Turnipseed was strange indeed.
His teeth were green,
And his teeth were few,
His breath smelled like monkeys
From eating stinkweed stew.
Merle woke every morning
And made stinkweed tea,
Then played solitaire
Solitarily.
Being superstitious,
He continued to play
Until he won a game,
And only then started his day.
Merle believed if he didn’t win,
A horrible accident would do him in.
How this began he could not recall.
But there was no way to stop it,
No way at all.
Some days he won quickly
And he wasn’t too prickly,
But if it took until noon,
He bit like a raccoon.
Then one day he lost
The whole day long,
But he would not stop
Until he came out on top.
Day turned to night
And he kept on losing,
He was thirsty and hungry —
It was hardly amusing!
But he kept on playing,
Knowing a horrible fate was waiting
If he gave up the game,
No matter how long it was taking.
He was found days later by the stable groom,
Alone at the table in his living room,
Slumped over, fully and completely dead,
A scatter of cards beneath his head.
(Original artwork by AJ.)
