BAD BLOOD
The way I fought with my parents
Would make you shiver,
Because Dad made me work
And Mom weekly served liver.
For the longest time we argued like sin
Until right next door some oddballs moved in.
They never mowed their lawn or pulled their weeds,
Or attended to their other landscaping needs.
A feud ensued that was out of control
Until the local team made it to the Super Bowl.
Then our neighborhood decided to despise
Every town rooting for the other guys.
That rivalry ended when our quarterback was traded,
And then out of nowhere our country was invaded.
Tanks and missiles made life pretty hard;
Nobody could properly take care of their yard.
Our ragged resistance fought with distinction
Until three-headed aliens arrived,
Nearly causing our extinction
By making a radioactive crater
Out of most of the Equator.
Life for humanity could hardly get worse,
But then we got absorbed by a parallel universe.
The folks over there would brook no dissension,
And enslaved us all in the seventh dimension.
Now every last human and three-headed overlord
Keeps busy sowing seeds of inter-universal discord.
Yet despite this dismal state of affairs,
When Mom serves liver my temper still flares.
